One crazy night

I love a good trip to Jo-Ann Fabrics and Crafts. In fact, I love JoAnn and all her fabrics and crafts so much that it’s one of the first places I go whenever Dave can babysit Amelia for the evening. I grab my friend Sarah and we are at “Jo’s House” as soon as the husbands take over kid duty. Heck, we even brought my 2 month old and Sarah’s 19 month old to Aunt Jo’s House once. Desperate crafting times call for desperate measures.

But this story I’m about to tell you happened one dark Christmasy evening while the babes were safe asleep at home. And a good thing, too, because it was crazy out there.

This trip to Jo’s was so intense that we had to get a cart. Usually we wonder the store, picking up things here and there, setting them back down because we shouldn’t buy them, picking up more things, then making the other one hold it all while one of us uses the bathroom {cough, Sarah}.

Now we are pretty used to closing down JoAnn’s. They “close” at 9pm, but they start warning you that they are closing at 8:15. “Attention, Guests. The time is now 8:15. We will be closing in 45 minutes. Please bring all final purchases to the front.” Do they really think it’s going to take 45 minutes for us to check out? Please. So we kept shopping. Although Sarah did jump a little when the loud speaker came on every 5 minutes.

Finally, around 8:50, we took our cart and headed to the checkout line. Which happens to be one of those snaking maze-like lines where you enter at one point, snake around for a bit, then wait at the spot that says “Please wait here for next available cashier.”  I’m sure you’ve noticed, but usually there is no passing once you get into the roped off line. Usually. As Sarah and I entered the maze, we could feel someone trying to get around us. Really? We looked at each other and walked a little faster. So did the man behind us. And yes, it was a man shopping at JoAnn Fabrics. Good for him. Except for the part where he kept rudely trying to pass us. Eventually I turned around and said to him, “It’s ok, sir, you can just go on ahead of us.” Which he did, without even bothering to thank us. We laughed it off. It’s hard to faze us on our girl’s night out to Jo’s house.

“Attention, Guests. The time is now 8:50. We will be closing in 10 minutes. Please bring all final purchases to the front.”

As we stood at the designated “Please wait here for the next available cashier” spot, a lady tried to go around us. Oh no. I wasn’t having it this time, so I stepped to the side, blocked her path, and turned to look at her.

“What? Are you like in line?” she asked me in disbelief.

“Yeah….we’re waiting for the next available cashier….” I tried to be polite and pointed to the sign.

“What? Are we like in a queue?” With even more disbelief in her voice.

I wanted to ask her if she thought she was like, in England (who says queue in Tennessee?), but I just nodded. And turned back around.

Sarah and I finally both made it to a register, paid, and were about to leave. I remembered that I needed to give Sarah a few things from my purse (Sonic wacky pack sunglasses for her son, for one) so we stepped out of the way of the exit door, and I started dumping things from my purse into hers.

Attention, Guests. The time is now 8:55. We will be closing in 5 minutes. Please bring all final purchases to the front.”

While we stood chatting for another minute, a JoAnn’s employee came up to us.

“If you two are leaving you can just go out that door.” She pointed to the entrance door, which was at least 30 feet away. Even though we were standing right next to the open exit door, which other people were using.

Sarah and I looked at each other, tried not to laugh hysterically, and went out the entrance door.

I don’t know what you were on that night, Miss JoAnn, but your store sure was crazy.



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