On being a mom

When I think of the relationship that I have with my mom, it’s strange to look at my own daughter and think and hope that one day Amelia will have that type of relationship with me. My mom knows me better than anyone else does (except for maybe Dave); she always knows just how to comfort and encourage me.

When I had a miscarriage she didn’t say the usual “You’ll have another baby” or “God is in control.” She said, “That’s hard. I’ve never been through that. I wish I knew how to help you.”

When I told her that I had read lots of books and thought I was prepared to give birth naturally she didn’t laugh and say, “A book can never prepare you for what you’re about to experience.” She didn’t say “It’s the hardest thing ever and half way through you’ll change your mind.” Instead she said, “Good. You’ll do fine. It’s hard, but you’ll get through it. Women do.”

When I was six centimeters dilated and my contractions were 1 minute long and 3 minutes apart she could have said, “Those are nothing,” (because they weren’t). When I told her it hurt and I was sick of it she said, “You’re doing fine. You’re handling these so well.”

After my baby was born I told everyone that I never wanted to give birth again. At least not without drugs. When I said natural childbirth was “pointless” she didn’t disagree or tell me it would be easier next time. She just told me how beautiful my baby was.

When I told her 4 weeks later that I thought I could give birth naturally again, she didn’t have to say “I told you so,” because she hadn’t.

Instead she simply said, “I’m glad.”

    • esther
    • November 15th, 2010

    oh Ali, that is just beautiful, you are both blessed to have each other!

    • Karen Grubb
    • November 15th, 2010

    That was sweet. Hug your moms today.

    • Emma
    • November 15th, 2010

    Thanks Ali. You’ll soon be able to be a great encourager to your baby girl. It’s the only way to go:)

    Love you,

    • grandma
    • November 16th, 2010

    This is a beautiful tribute to your mom, Ali. I hope she has read it.

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