No Gas, No Money, No Mailbox, and 1 Smelly Dog

On Saturday I wrote a letter. The old fashioned kind. I had to dig around and find a piece of paper before I could even write it. But it was very important that I write said letter, and equally important that it get mailed on Saturday. It had to go across a few states, and I needed it to get there by the next Wednesday.

I sat down to write the letter at 11 o’clock. The mail usually  comes around 12, so I knew I was pushing it a little bit, but I wasn’t planning on writing a book, just a 1 page letter. Turns out writing letters can be a little harder than you thought. One, there is no backspace, so you must think out what you are going to write before you start writing it.  Two, there is no backspace, so you have to write carefully and try not to end up with lots of scribbles marring your piece of legal paper.

So I wrote the letter, folded it into an envelope, found a stamp, and then realized I needed to look up the address. Time: 11:25. I got this. As I looked up the address, I glanced out the window and……there’s the mailman. Just leaving our mailbox. I seriously considered running outside and asking him to wait while I addressed the envelope, but he was already around the corner before I got out the front door.

After I said a few choice words and stomped around a bit, I grabbed my keys and the addressed letter and headed for the nearest blue mailbox. But first I also grabbed the dog, because it was a nice day and I thought he might enjoy hanging his head out the window of the car.

In college I heard a song with this line: It’s just like liquor stores, mailboxes, and pay phones – whenever you need them they are impossible to find. I don’t even know what band or song it is from, but that line definitely took on new meaning this Saturday.

I thought our nearest mailbox would be down the street at the huge new Kroger shopping center that is just a mile from our house. So when I got in the car and realized there was little to no gas in it, I thought “No big deal. I can make it to Kroger and back. I don’t need my wallet.”  I didn’t even have shoes on – just my slippers.

I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that there was no mailbox at the Kroger. Or at the Walgreens just a little further down the street. I called Dave, and after I finished yelling at him for leaving me a car with no gas and making the mailman come early, he told me to just go to the post office. Good idea, if only I had enough gas. I decided to risk it. The post office closes at 12 on Saturdays, you know, so there was no time to get my wallet, pump gas, etc.

I floored it on over to the post office (8 miles) while the dog decided he didn’t feel like hanging his head out the window after all, but instead wanted to whine and try to crawl from the back seat to the front.

I made it to the post office at 11:47, left the dog in the car (sorry dude) and ran inside. Or tried to run inside. It was closed. They closed at 11. Sweet mercy. Not knowing what else to do, I left the letter in the drop box (last pick up 11am) and stormed back to the car. Stupid mailman, stupid car, stupid dog, stupid post office! If that letter didn’t make it by Wednesday, so what. I had done all I could.  It was not a happy ride home. See if I ever try to mail a letter again.

I received word on Monday that the letter had arrived. On Monday. I still don’t know how that happened. Someone must have looked in that drop box one last time before they headed home. And to that person, I say thank you. Also, I hope you have enough gas in your car to make it home.

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    • one white yankee fanNate VG
    • March 9th, 2010

    Only two words came into my head when i finished this: LMHO and LOL,
    not sure they are words but…..

    Pretty funny Ali

    • Emma
    • March 10th, 2010

    I heard Mom tell Dad this story and i had a good laugh.Most likely Dad did too. Tell Jakie that i said NOT to wine when there is no gas-no money and no mailbox.Dogs should know when not to wine don’t you think?did he drool too?Only like Jakie can?

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